Condensed Potter in a Can
by Jocyo
Summary: Insane, funny, and cool! Bobobo lovers would enjoy! Randomness galore. What's better than that? I'll tell you: Reviews! Your own could make this fanfic more funny and random, or less depending on your biased opinions. Shake well before consumption.


**a/n: Hey guys, I'm having a serious problem with writer's block, so…**

**HUMOR/PARODY! AU! Don't blame me if I misspell words, just deal with it! I might have used a joke from an annoy Voldemort list or another fanfic by accident. If so, please notify me at once!**

_In a world where a Dark Lord strikes fear into everyone's heart…One man can save them all…_

_He is…_(Bum bum bum!)_…Harry Potter! We meet him in a showdown against the Dark Lord Voldemort with his companions Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley, against the Loyal Death Eaters!_

Harry walked around in the beautifully decorated room that was Voldemort's battle chamber on the way, he turned a chandelier into the shape of Voldemort's head. He snorted. It would give any Death Eater a nightmare for the rest of the year. He walked in and saw Peter Pettigrew playing with a Nintendo Wii.

"Pettigrew?"

"AHA!" Pettigrew said. "I'VE GOT YOU NOW! HIII-YAH!" He lunged forward. Harry's ridiculous instincts kicked into action while Ron and Hermione were coming back from a dark broom closet (hehehe) while Ginny came back from the bathroom, all three rushing to the gold-encrusted battle room.

"BALONEY-OCUS!" Harry said. Pettigrew's secret stash of Beatles records exploded.

"NOOO! CURSE YOU HARRY POTTER— I Mean…umm…" Peter said. "Um…I am sorry…" the rat said, reading the lines off of ink on his right hand. "I will lever — never do hat — tat — that again, pease sbare me. Wait — what? I mean, please spare me."

"Okay!" Harry said. Then Voldemort came in.

"It is time for your end, Harry Potter." Voldemort said. "But first — lime drop?"

"NOO!" Harry said. "The ultimate enemy of a lemon-drop-lover! Well, sure thing!" Harry said, and popped one into his mouth, then started choking.

"HAHA!" Voldemort, the world's evilest tennis player said. "I got you! That lime drop was spiked with _PEANUTS_!!!"

"NO — MY ALLERGIES!" Harry said, wincing in pain as he broke out in hives. "You win this round — en garde!" Harry said, drawing out a wet noodle from his back pocket. "Super duper double Weasley Potter Noodle Crush!!"

Ron did a spinning waltz with Ginny while twirling some pasta while Harry did Saber moves with the giant noodle. Meanwhile Hermione said,

"Look! Is it a bird, is it a plane? Is it —" Plop. A drop of dung landed on Hermione's Arithmancy book.

"It's a bird." Ginny said, while Hermione was flaring up.

"Damn — stupid, BIRDS!" Hermione said. She took out her wand and said, "Pantalones Coca Cola!" It exploded in her face while tiny midgets named Filius Flitwick came and chanted, 'She's the One! She's the One!'

"I summon EXODIA!" Ron said, holding out his hand. A Hershey kiss fell out of his sleeve, as well as a rather inappropriate magazine. "Whoopsey!"

"Bibidi Bobidi Boo!" Voldemort said. "Alaka Zula, Magicka Boola, Bibidibobidiboo! Whether you like it, believe it or not, Bibidibobidiboo!"

"NO! Not the Fairy Godmother!" Harry bellowed.

"That what now?" Voldemort said, as the spell he incanted two paragraphs ago came into affect. A muffin fell out of his hand.

"I am el Muffin Grande! Hahaha! With this magic wand," The muffin said, brandishing Bellatrix Lestrange's wand. "I can become Hitler and take over the world! Hahaha!"

_Squish._ Ginny sat on it.

"Nooo!" The muffin bellowed. Then the painting overhead of Galileo suddenly replaced his nose with Snape's. Then an ugly old crone by the next portrait said. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE!"

"Super Dance of the Jelly fish!" Harry said. He became a flopping Jellyfish on the ground. Then he said. "Super spell of the Jelly fish HEAT VISION!"

"Heat vision?" Repeated Voldemort. ZAP! He got fried.

"No, master!" Pettigrew said. He tore off his other non-metal arm and shoved it into Burnt-Voldie's mouth. He swallowed and rose again.

"Hahaha!" Voldemort said. "I rise again!" Ron and Ginny took this moment to run away.

"Damn it, I missed my hot date! Well, see you later, Potter!" Voldemort said before Apparating away. Ten minutes later, an official looking witch appeared.

"HALT! — wait, where is the Dark Lord?" she said.

"Sorry," Harry said. "But you're kinda late." He took another lime drop and started choking again. Then he said, "Once you get over the original shock of choking, they actually taste pretty darn good." Then apparated away.

**a/n: Well, what do you think? Short on purpose.**


End file.
